Macster Musings: Summer in San Francisco is Here!

Summer in San Francisco has arrived. How do I know? Well, it's been shitty outside for 5 of the past 6 days, that's usually a telling sign. Today was amazingly gorgeous. I might have actually even got the semblance of the beginnings of microscopic indicators that a light tan might have taken place upon my body. Here in San Francisco, we have to take advantage of these sunny, nice days that most non-SF dwellers typically expect from a normal summer day because in San Francisco, they're few and far between. Our summer is in the fall (really just September and October) and if we want consistent summer sun we have to trek north, south, or east to the 'burbs to get it. San Francisco is an amazing city. But the summers suck. Mark Twain was credited (incorrectly, as it turns out) for the great quote "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." We San Franciscans like to spout that quote to baffled tourists wearing shorts and t-shirts in 55 degree weather mid July. Our falls are epic. Our summers are execrable.

However, the good news about San Francisco summers is that despite the brisk conditions, we still have hella (yes, I said hella, NorCal represent!) events that you'd typically reserve for, you know, sunny afternoons. We have Bay to Breakers (arguably the best foot race in America and if you don't know what it is, just google the madness) and street fairs in May and June. We have the annual pub crawls. And we have Outside Lands (our version of Coachella). So despite it being blustery outside, we can still pretend we're a warm weather climate during the summer months. And you know what, sometimes The City goes ahead and feeds us a nice day coinciding with these events. That's what makes SF summers exciting, you never know what you're going to get. This week it drizzled for 3 days (while being relatively overcast the rest of the week) then today, the clouds all packed their bags and got the eff out of dodge so we could get a taste of some Vitamin D. That's what SF summers are all about. It's like weather roulette. Are you going to get fog? Rain? Or sun? You just better hope you're not working on the day the wheel lands on sun. Thankfully, that's something Macster doesn't currently have to worry about.

What else am I musing about? I've been taking some trips recently and I have to admire new airline technology. It's a trip to think years ago people smoked on planes. For the longest time, flying long distances was similar to torture. You had to sit in a cramped seat with absolutely no entertainment for hours on end. Sure, you were given peanuts and a shitty movie with all the best parts edited out or censored but you had to wear those fucking annoying headphones that always wound up hurting your ears after awhile. Now? Holy crap now we get internet on the plane! And television? I can watch a Giants game for a 3.5 hour flight and somehow feel like the flight was short! Yet we still can't use our cellphones. I guess we have to give the airlines SOMETHING. They're practically entertaining us nowadays. They have to have some sort of control over something. Barring cellphones? I can deal with that. Mainly because I can email my friends instead or watch porn as long as there's no kids around me. Love it.

Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. Or is she? There's a warrant for her arrest but will she seriously do any time? I have no idea but I am super intrigued. What the hell happened with that girl? She peaked in Mean Girls, which might have the hottest cast of all time (Amanda Seyfriend, Lacey Chabert, LiLo, and Rachel McAdams?) then it was all downhill. She lost her innocence and became a cokewhore bisexual alcoholic vampire. Actually, that sounds pretty awesome. While she's doing time, she should write a script revolving around that caricature. I'd watch it and I bet you would too. But she's such a mess now that I honestly believe I'd have a chance to hook up with her if I saw her randomly around town. Dudes, chicks, banging randos in the stairwell of her rehab facility? Clearly, it can't take much to get in this girls pants.

Here's a Macster Message: Never eat at a Brazilian steakhouse if you plan on going out later. I almost feel like these Brazilian steakhouses should come with warnings. I have never gone to a Brazilian steakhouse and not been hit with instant drowsiness upon finishing my plate. Meat dish upon meat dish is foisted upon you until next thing you know you're slipping into the worst (best?) food coma ever. I made this mistake in Vegas one time and it cost us a night of partying. Go on a weekday. Trust me.

I actually had a far more entertaining blog to post this evening but it got deleted. And then I forgot all the points I made in it. So this is a mash-up, a deleted scene that you get instead. Digest it, enjoy it. When I can remember the real points I wanted to make, you know I'll share.

Also, I've actually had people email me suggestions on topics to muse about. Feel free to shoot me an email with topics and I'll do my best to ravage them. And just remember, if you're planning a summer vacation these next couple of months, you're more than welcome to come to SF. Just don't pack like you're going to Hawaii because you'll wind up freezing. However, there's a good chance you'll get to do something awesome while you're here. And remember kids, alcohol always makes the body warmer.

I'm Macster and I Approve This Message