"You're Not in College Anymore"

I am exactly 3 weeks away from turning the dreadfully frightening 3-0. When you're a kid, 30 is like, soooo old. When you're 21, 30 is so far away and still sooooo old. When you're in your late twenties, 30 all of a sudden doesn't seem so old anymore. It's just a number, right? There's nothing that really truly changes except your entrance to the 3rd decade of your existence. So, why then, do expectations change for people once they blow out those 30 candles? Why are poeople all of a sudden "too old" for things. It's like that constant reminder you get when you're no longer in college. The overused and completely irrelevant "you're not in college anymore." Times they are a-changing. I don't have a mortgage and I don't have a family of my own. I live with roommates in a 3 bedroom apartment. So why CAN'T I or others like me act like I'm in college anymore? Ok, granted, some things must change. You do gain certain responsibilities once you graduate. You do have real work, not just a class you may or may not attend. You have bills to pay (no escaping that). And granted, it's not really socially acceptable to puke in bushes and pass out doing keg stands or dominating your 15th game of beer pong. But why are there such higher standards and expectations for those that have a 3 as a prefix to their age? Really, the reason people expect more of 30 year olds is because, well, they're 30. And they should have their shit together right? They should be set by 30. Married or getting there. Working their way up that career ladder, right? They've lived through their 20's. In their 20's is when they experiment and figure out who they are, what they want, where they'll be, and who they'll be doing it with. Right?

Wrong. Things have changed. Society has changed. I read an article the other day that noted parents of my generation had a very clear cut path in life. They were kids, then they were adolescents, then they were workers, then they would retire. My generation and the generation below mine? Not so much. We self discover. We go on foreign trips. We try out several jobs and careers before settling on one or maybe never settle on one. We follow our parents path thru adolescence then veer off excitedly to figure our shit out. This takes years for us! Our parents had very attainable goals and expectations. You go to school, you go to work, you start a family, you retire. Us? Not so much. We go to school, then maybe we work. Or maybe we go to more school. Or maybe we travel. Maybe we hang out. Maybe we get married but maybe we want to play the field for awhile. Maybe we start a family but maybe we want to live a decade for ourselves before that next stop in life. The point? Yeah, some of us are not in college anymore. But some of us are not locked down to anything yet either. I'm leasing my place I live at. I don't have a wife nor a child that needs daddy to pay the bills and put food on the table. I'm living for myself. So even if I'm 30 and definitively NOT in college, why does that preclude me from acting like a single twentysomething? Who do I have to answer to? Me.

I know plenty of people that feel they need to have specific life goals in order by the time they're 30. Or they feel the pressure of having to be "mature" or "more responsible" as they near their 30th birthday or turn 30. Cool man. That's your perogative. That's on you. But I certainly don't EXPECT you to be that way unless you ARE married. If you're married, the game changes. You're not living for you, you're living for others. And you DO have to own it. But if you're like me, a single dude with no real obligations, then why do I have to act any different because I'm 30? I don't, really. If 40 is the new 30 (which I'm hearing all those cool magazines say, which means it must be true) then is 30 the new 20? Well no. But 30 is still 30. And unlike when I was 12 or 18 or 23... 30 ISN'T too old. We are older and wiser but we're not ancient.

Some people feel the tug of adulthood at different times in life. And despite my reputation of being a social dynamo with a twinge of immaturity, turning 30 certainly is changing the way I think about things. So despite my attack on the big 30 year dance, I'm also slowly accepting the fact that it just may be time to take it down a notch. But in no way am I doing that because I feel the pressure of doing so because I AM going to be 30. I'm doing so because it finally feels to be about that time. But then again, maybe that's because I AM turning 30. And my body and mind are catching up to my years.

Hmm.