Thanksgiving Thoughts

So this entry is going to be a little more heartfelt than the previous ones. Why? Because it's Thanksgiving time. And although somewhere in my lineage I do have Native American blood I'll still be at home on Thursday with my family, eating turkey and mashed potatoes, watching the Lions lose, and celebrating what turned out to be the beginning of the end for American Indians by stuffing my face and giving thanks to all that I have much like those pesky Pilgrims did way back in the 17th century. Now, I admit back in the day, Thanksgiving didn't really get me that excited. Why? Well, let's count the reasons. First off, it's a holiday where you don't get presents. We have to be thankful but we don't get anything!? Where's the fun in that? It really just seems like a final test as to whether or not we're going to make the naughty or nice list for Christmas. "Demonstrate your gratitude or Santa will leave your shit in the N.P. you spoiled fuck!" If you're in school, you only get two meager days off (okay, maybe two and a half!). Two days? What a cocktease! That's just enough time to start enjoying yourself and then it's right back to the grind. Most of the time Thanksgiving break is just the break you need to give your brain some time to lounge before diving right back into the books upon the return to school for fucking finals. How can you possibly celebrate a holiday when FINALS are on the brain? Thanksgiving break is the foreplay vacation. It gets you warmed up for intercourse, which of course is the much longer, more satisfying, and less stressful Winter Break, which typically occurs AFTER those damn finals have been taken. And it isn't really even festive. It's just QT with the fam. There's no decorations really. At least not to the extent as there is for Halloween or Christmas. No, I never really looked forward to Thanksgiving. Well, not until they started having those awesome James Bond marathons on Spike. I must admit once those started, I kinda got excited about the prospect of coming home, lounging on the couch, drinking some spiced something or other, and watching Bond.

I guess there are some other upsides to the Thanksgiving holiday as well. If you're in college and you don't live across the country from home you get to have reunions with old friends. You can catch up and brag about all the trouble you're getting into or rant and rave about how homesick you are or how hard it all is. And let's face it, a weekend at home with the 'rents can be nice. Home cooked meals. Your mom doing your laundry. However, once I passed the age of, well, let's say 25, and I'm grown up and have a job and a budget, I've started looking forward to Thanksgiving. Why? Well, for one, you get two days off from work (okay, maybe even two and a half!). Two full days off work feels pretty much like winter break does in college. You don't need to wake up to an alarm for FOUR FULL DAYS!! It's paradise! Second of all, there's no presents!! I don't have to shell out any extra cash for anyone! Saving money? Always good. You savor Thanksgiving because it's so simple. You just get to spend some time with the family and enjoy yourself. Eat your heart out. No pressure. The real suck is around the corner, the Holidays, where you're going to go broke for the next few months by purchasing gifts for every last relative. And that winter break now equals your Thanksgiving break. Not much of an edge there anymore, huh Holidays? And did I mention the Bond marathons? Though I think they've started airing those for winter as well so...

That being said, considering I am a reflective sort of dude, I did want to take time in this entry to give thanks where it was due so here it goes:

Thank you to my family and friends. I love you and am thankful for all of you. Yes, even YOU.
Thank you to my readers. Not exactly sure who you guys/gals are but hopefully I'm not completely boring you.
Thank you to Mike Singletary and Jimmy Raye for not comprehending what kind of offense the Niners should be. Every game is exciting because I'm not quite sure HOW the Niners are going to go three-and-out, I just know they will.
Thank you Tim Lincecum for being the best pitcher in baseball and for being a Giant. I'm looking forward to you bending Brian Sabean over in arbitration. Of course, it probably means you'll get your teammate Matt Cain traded but it's all about the benjamins, baby!
Thank you Don Nelson for running all the good Warriors out of town... again.
Thank you to the really really annoying creepy guy on my shuttle every morning who listens to what can only be classified as circus music on his iPod at full blast so that everyone can hear it.
Thank you Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel for your amazing acting talent. And by acting talent I mean I love you guys so much I want to take you out behind the school and get you pregnant.
Thank you Michael Jackson for taking the news away from all the B-C-D level celeb deaths.
Thank you teenage girls for swarming to the Twilight sequel and breaking the Dark Knight's records and putting New Moon in the category of highest grossing films this decade. Wait, what? Really? Jesus. GET OVER THE VAMPIRE OBSESSIONS!!! It's so not fair that apparently all those vampire dudes are allegedly hot and guys that are dragged to this movie by their GFs have to put up with Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning.
Thank you James Cameron for reappearing. I really don't think Avatar is going to be that good of a movie, but you've been missed.
Thank you LOST for coming back soon.
Thank you Muse for making awesome albums. Can't wait to see you December 11th.
And finally... Thank you Thanksgiving. Because without you, I'd have a 5 day work week and no excuse for getting absolutely shitbombed on a Wednesday night. Without you I wouldn't have a convenient time for my 10-year high school reunion to see all the people I've been stalking on Myspace or Facebook the past several years. Without you I wouldn't have an actual excuse for gaining 10 pounds. And without you, I'd have no excuse for sitting on my couch and watching 24 hours of Bond.

My name is Macster and I'm thankful for this message.


Comments

  1. Chase ConwayDecember 1, 2009 at 3:09 PM

    Just started reading your stuff, you are hilarious. Keep it up.

    ReplyDelete

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