I Want A New Pet... But Why?

I consider myself an avid people watcher and love to watch our kind interact. I like to think I'm quasi observant and not a complete ignoramus. Human beings fascinate me. I plan on having an ongoing entry on the funny things human beings do that make absolutely no logical sense or are just completely asinine but I'll save that first entry for another rainy night. Tonight, I just want to focus on the weird obsession we have with pets. We, as a species, are so much more complex than anything else on this planet. Yet sometimes I HAVE to wonder if animals ever watch us and think in their own respective animal brains... "what the hell is wrong with these people?" You can't tell me domesticated cats and dogs don't secretly laugh to themselves when we're absent. They've suckered us big time. We think we domesticated these animals, but really, aren't they having the last laugh? Having a pet is like having a child. You care for it. You try to teach and educate it. It annoys you on a semi regular basis but you can't help but feel some sort of unconditional love towards it and you dismiss those annoyances as complicated acts of cuteness. A pet becomes part of your family. But really, let's really examine the nature of a pet/owner relationship. What do we really get out of owning an animal? We get to pet it. It's usually soft and furry, which is nice and soothing. And we get some companionship out of the deal. We get a comrade that doesn't talk back and doesn't argue, doesn't tell you what you don't want to hear, and is generally reliable to be there for you. Everything you wish your friends were! However, in exchange for these pleasantries, we spend a good amount of money feeding these furry friends. We pick up their shit. Or in some cases, we just buy them a bathroom and clean it frequently. We exercise them, we walk them. We pet them until they give us some indication that they don't want to be touched anymore. We wake up regularly in the middle of the night to cater to their immediate need to go outside or come inside. They disrupt our sleeping schedule by barking at things that go bump in the night or by finding the most inconvenient place on your bed to fall asleep, where they then paralyze you into an uncomfortable sleeping position with the unwelcome addition of supplying an extra five to ten degrees of body heat. We curtail our schedule to meet their demands because we know if we're not back by a certain time, they're going to let us know we fucked up and that they're angry. They get sick but then get extremely fussy when you want them to go visit the doctor. In essence, we are our pets bitches.



So, then, why do I have an urge to get a new pet? I've always wanted a Husky but my apartment can't accomodate one. I think a Cheetoh or Toyger kitten would be amazing but I've already abandoned one cat and sent him off to live with his grandparents (my mother and father). Granted, his quality of life has improved as he's been spoiled with wet food, friends (my parent's Doberman and 2 other felines), and immense open outdoor frolicland. I almost feel I'd be cheating on him if I acquired a new pussy. Then again, I spent 2 years cleaning up his bathroom, grooming him, saving him from palm trees and yellow labs, buying him countless dinners, and letting him sleep on my head. But of course, what I got back from it was totally worth it. He let me pet him here and there and he never gave me any shit. And maybe that's it. Maybe that's why we love our pets so very much. Because at the end of the day, despite whether they're peeing on our carpet or ruffling through our garbage or throwing up on our pillow, they're part of our life... and they love us despite all our weird human behavior. Even if they are secretly laughing and judging us.



I'm Macster and I approve this message.